Humor-Military
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Humor-Military: The miltary is in it's own world, created words like SNAFU Stuation Normal - All Fu--ed Up! They also have "toys" that we just dreamed of, when we were kids! Also, they are dominated by very young people, who have a great sense of humor!
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Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a windowseat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.
Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat, and took off his shoes.
and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said 'I need
to get up and get a coke.'
'Don't get up,' said the Marine 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get
it for you.'
As soon as he left one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe
and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other
Arab said, 'That looks good. I'd really like one too.' Again, the
Marine obligingly went to fetch it.
Whilehe was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe
and spat in it. When the Marine returned they all sat back and
enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing the Marine slipped his feet into his
shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and
asked his Arab neighbors, 'Why does it have to be this way ?'
'How long must this go on ? This fighting between our nations ?
This hatred ? This animosity ? This spitting in shoes and
pissing in cokes ?'

News Media Explained
A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.
The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'
The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living
and what political affiliation do you have?'
The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.' The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH!
That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days. (ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH!!!)
Why the Japanese never got past Oklahoma Funny video!

Military Wisdom
“If the enemy is in range, so are you.” — Infantry Journal
“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.” — US Air Force Manual
“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.” — General MacArthur
“You, you, and you … Panic. The rest of you, come with me.” — U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
“Tracers work both ways.” — U.S. Army Ordnance Manual
“Five second fuses only last three seconds.” — Infantry Journal
The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you. — Basic Flight Training Manual
“Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.” — Maritime Ops Manual
“Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.” — Unknown Marine Recruit
“If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.” — USAF Ammo Troop
“You’ve never been lost until you”ve been lost at Mach 3.” — Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)
“The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.” —Unknown Author
“If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe.” — Fixed Wing Pilot
“When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.” — Multi-Engine Training Manual
“Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club.” — Unknown Author
“If you hear me yell; ‘Eject, Eject, Eject!,’ the last two will be echos. If you stop to ask ‘Why?’ you”ll be talking to yourself, because you’re the pilot.” — Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot
“What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, …. the pilot dies.” — Sign over Control Tower Door
“Never trade luck for skill.” — Author Unknown
“Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.” — Basic Flight Training Manual
“Mankind has a perfect record in aviation — we have never left one up there!” — Unknown Author
“Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.” — Emergency Checklist
“The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.” — Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
“There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.” — Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ
“If something hasn’t broken on your helicopter, it’s about to.” — Sign over Carrier Group Operations Desk
“You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.” — Lead-in Fighter Training Manual
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, “What happened?” The pilot”s reply: “I don’t know, I just got here myself!”
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